I really need to get my photography out there somehow. I started out with Flickr, but it's not going to do me any good unless I tell people about it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/caitlinmcguirephotography/

If you enjoy looking at pictures, or you appreciate photography, please take a look at my photos. Comments and feedback are really appreciated. If you wanna give me suggestions or give me a challenge, by all means! And also, if you're interested in being a model for me, I would love to photograph you. It will be lots of fun! And if you happen to be somewhat of a photographer, I would love to model for you. :]

I hope you enjoy it. :]

Christy has been on my mind for the past couple days, and im not quite sure how to make of it.
I gotta write about this. Somehow getting my words on paper helps me figure it out, and since most of my opinions and stuff on this are one sided, i should probably give the gill a call to get her side. I could just be freaking about nothing. Also it gives Caitlyn a good idea on where I am standing.

So lets hit this right in the butt. No more beating around bushes, lets do this emotional shit!

First off I want to make it very clear thatr I can not have a relationship with Christy. In my mind this is very obvious. but how do i explain this... i dont know. Hell i dont even know exactly what i am feeling myself.

Scrubs is on, ill get back on this.

Ok, no more lollygaging(?). (when the "(?)" is used, i am not sure of the spelling)

Christy is one of the few girls I have a deep sence of guilt on. I am scared of her wanting a relaitonship and then me ending up hurting her. I always have this deep fear with women and hurting them. I know I can take whatever emotional shit hits me by either skateboarding it out, or just ignoring it till it goes away. However most women do not possess this kind of cold heartedness, and this makes one night stands really hard.I really hope she has moved on, so i am the only one freaking out.
Even though I know we cant have a realtionship, i cant help but wonder what if we did. The idea gives me a sence of peace because it means i didnt just fuck her because i wanted to fuck. What am I saying "I"? We wanted to fuck. I didnt force her into anything. She was pretty drunk, maybe i did. But these questions cant be answered unless i ask her, so lets move on.

Back to the question of what if we did have a relationship. I can imagine enjoying time hanging out with her, but I dont think there is going to be any stable ground to form a relationship on. I say that alot, so im gonna try to go into more detail. I can see us having fun walking around town, and being cute, but I cant it going any further than that. Some might say thats all it takes to start a relationship, and then you build on from there, but I refuse to believe that. This isnt the same feeling I had with past girlfriends where I really wanted to build a relationship. Maybe thats exactly my problem, I dont want to form a relationship with her, i just want a relationship. Am I lonly, or do i just miss being in a relationship? Its kinda early to be missing a relationship, its only been what... 3 months? (no really, i dont know, its been under 6 months... i think)

Ok, i think thats it. Now lets hit on how to deal with this. I think ill call her, and ... what will i say? shit. I could say "hey i wanted to call you to say that I dont want a relationship"... no what if she already didnt want one, ill sound dumb and really ...well womanly. I could call her and ask where she stands on what happened. but that doesnt feel right. I gotta say something, this is gonna kill my conscience if i dont say anything.
I cant do this by figureing it out by myself. Im gonna ask my friend Cara. Shes a woman, she might have an answer.

Scott texted me (and he only does that once in a while) and basically asked me to see a movie with him. I'm almost positive that's not all he wants to do. Oh dear. But I'm so bored, I need to get out of this apartment. I don't care if he puts his arm around me or he holds my hand, cuz we do that all the time at work, and I like our relationship like that. But if he tries to kiss me... Ugh. I can't do that. NOOOOO. Well, we'll see how it goes, I guess.

Tomorrow is exactly like today, but tomorrow is just further away.
The entire contents of today and tomorrow are filled only by our choises.
There is nothing we have to do during our days, only commitments we are staying loyal to.
Everything is a choise.

The past couple days have exceeded beyond my expectations. Back to back to back parties. When I thought I was missing things for playing video games, I had no idea exactly what I was missing.
Caitlin, im so glad you invited me, it was really a lot of fun. I wish I could have stayed longer and just lounged around the house with you guys. If your ever bored, give me a call, id love to hang out with ya.
oh right, well Caitlins party was small, and held in her fancy apartment in Fullerton, but that did not stop us from having fun. We did everything from karyokie(?) to combining tables for beer pong to snuggling in beds. Then the next day we played Little Big Planet. (honestly one of my favortie games on the PS3)
Caitlin, this is gonna get a little gnarly so you might wanna skip to the next paragraph. At Caitlin's I met this girl named Cristy. Right off the bat I didnt really know her too well, but later on she told me i danced with her and Caitlin in a parking lot. Anyway, when i walked in the room she had her top so low her entire bra was showing so i pulled out a spoof of Ace Venture and whispered "Psst, your bra is showing. Bubble bee tuna." She didnt get it, but I dont expect many people to get that reference. Anyway as the night went on she got really drunk really fast, and long story short she ended up puking on the floor next to the toilet, and then almost passed out. I felt bad for her so i woke her up, helped her puke the rest out, and then helped her get in the shower so she could clean off. She almost immeaditly fell in shower. So i asked her if she needed help, she said yes, so i get naked and jumped in the shower with her. Most of the time in shower was spent laying down and letting the warm water wash over us while i held her in my arms. I can not explain how many things I wanted to do to her right then and there, but she was already woozy and borderline passed out so I had to have a mind-over-matter moment and prevent myself from... well you get the idea. We kissed a few times in the shower before we got out, but thats where i planned on leaving it. Knowing me, that is not where it left. After the shower I went back to snuggling on Caitlins bed. the girls were curious if we did anything in there, and i told em no. But it kept ringing the back of my mind that the drunk, naked girl was sleeping all alone. At this moment I had a choise. I could either continue snuggling with Caitlin and maybe a little more, Caitlin is really cute, or I could go be with Christy. I told Caitlin that I was gonna go sleep somewhere else so they could have the bed, and then snuggled up with Cristy. That girl does not last very long, but man she loves to fuck. We spent hours fucking. hours. She also didnt like going very deep. Either she wasnt too flexible, or she just keep squeezing her legs a little bit, either way I didnt go very deep, but she has a perfect shaped and tight vagina. After the futon(?) almost collapsed on us a few times we moved to the floor and that is where she got rug burns on her back ,and I got them on my knees. The next day we moved into another room, but we didnt stop fucking untill Caitlin got back from work. Christy got my phone number through Caitlin, and im not sure how I am going to deal with her. I had a strong feeling she is going to try and have a relaitonship after this event.


Then Seans party was the day after. His was also held in his aparetment in Oxnard. He has a beautiful apartment, wonderful community pool (which we visited twice. Both times we couldnt get the jacuzzi to warm up), a hammock in the back yard and plenty of booze. I think at the climax of the party there were atleast 23 people. Because there were so many people I had to step out and skateboard around so i would stop feeling so awkward. (I dont know why, i just get awkward when i am areound a large group of people, so i skateboard for a while and relax.) As the night went on a lot of drama spilled out, and for the first time in my life i was on the outside, but i wanted to help the people on the inside. For example my friend Katrina had a crush on Sean, but she was interested in other girls, so Katrina and I went on a walk around the block. Im gonna leave that there because I dont want to go into too much detail. We did however write on eachother in highligher since most of the walls were blacklighted. I had Zoey's war paint on my face, bones on my lips, and then bones on my hands as well as the words "Balls of steel" written on my forearms. There was a girl that every guy in the room wanted to get with, and when I relized that i backed off her (why compete with other guys for a girl? If shes really worth it I wouldnt mind fighting other guys, but not some drunk chick at a party who is fliting with every single guy.) and talked to her friend. From talking to her friend is where I found that not only did her friend like me, but also the girls had a pact where neither of them were going to have sex that night. Sure one was less appealing, but the other was taking a shower with four guys. Needless to say that was teh first time I have ever gotten drunk, and did not have sex. Both girls i chose not to, the pact had nothing to do with it. But i learned so much from that night. Drama not only got juicy, but it became fun to watch it unfold. Especially when I already knew how it was going to end. I also had the oppertunity to use the hookah Tom gave me before he left to the military. Sean has one, and since mine was in my car we had both going at the same time.
Fun night, COD MW2 the next day with a french toast breakfast and watching Full Metal Jacket.

Sadly I had to leave that one early too since I had to be in West Convina at 3 for my family's christmas party. Around 7 PM i was sleeping on my cousins coutch. My father drove me home, and I am so glad he did. As soon as I got home around 9 i went to bed, and now I am up!
I am not going to be up for long, I am getting sleepy again. Which reminds me, i should probably start my expectric blanket since it takes a while to warm up...

I also got haircut reciently, which i still hate. I've never had a good haircut, and I shouldnt have expected this one to be any different. Its too short, i have straight bangs, the side of my head where uber mushroomed, and the back was uneven. After panicing for a while my mother helped me out but evening out the sides so I dont have a mushroom head, and then evening out the back. I love my mother. In about a month or so my hair will look like my picture. If not, then I have to get the bangs shaped, and the back trimmed so it stays even with the rest of my hair. I might be in englad when I get my hair cut again. (people told me that I look like im proper, i look like a mormon, and that they think its a bad cut but it could be worse)

I really didnt intend to write this much. Since i am writing for my future self, and i know how easily i forget things, i feel like I need to go into detail so I can remember these events. I know anything for the Villa is forgotten and the only way i can tell stories from there is because my mom had to tell me the stories.

Well its 4 am, and im going back to bed.

I haven't posted anything for a while. It's not that I have nothing to say. But I just don't want to say anything. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I wanted to isolate myself from people, so I decided not to record my thoughts on what has happened.

The first thing:
I broke up with Julian. Okay. It seems odd because we were a great couple together. In fact, I thought we were considered best friends. Going on 8 months. We struggled hardcore to remain pure. It was really hard, but we did it. When we were on the right track, I noticed something... Our conversations where dry. Our love was on the surface. Something had to be missing. But what.
God was missing in our relationship.
A week after this discovery, I broke up with him. It was hard. I loved him. But I owed it to him to break up with him. I was becoming attracted to other people who filled that 'gap'. Julian even said, "It's not that we're going in two different directions; you're just ahead of me." It's true. I am ahead of him.

Second:
Lynne is being deployed to Kuwait. Everyone knows how I feel about the war. I DON'T LIKE IT. At all. I wish I could steal her away from all this stuff. She's maturing faster and faster. Her face is changing because I don't see it everyday. My heart throbbing with her heart. We feel the same. We can't live with out eachother. Life would become to heartbroken.
God, I just want her to be safe and happy. And only You can provide that.
I abide in you Lord, here my request.

Third:
I want to do something drastic. Really huge. Like, forget about school, about friends, and start completely over.
Walk around the country. Be Christ's hands, feet, and voice. I want to people to know that I love them.
Maybe I will do this. Probably just for a few weeks. Walk to Texas and see R.J. :]

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me.
Well I guess I'll make my own way.
It's a circle, a mean cycle,
I can't excite you anymore.
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge, but if you're gonna judge me,
Well sentence me to another life.

Don't wanna hear your sad songs,
I don't wanna feel your pain.
When you swear it's all my fault,
'Cuz you know we're not the same,
We're not the same, oh we're not the same.
Yeah, I've got friends who stick together,
We wrote our names in blood.
I guess you can't accept that the change is good,
It's good, It's good.

Well, you treat me just like another stranger.
It's nice to meet you, sir.
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out.
You treat me just like another stranger.
It's nice to meet you sir.
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out.

Ignorance is your new best friend,
Ignorance is your new best friend.

And this is the best thing that could've happened.
Any longer, and I wouldn't have made it.
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture.
I'm just a person but you can't take it.
The same tricks that, that once fooled me,
They won't get you anywhere.
I'm not the same kid from your memory.
Well, now I can fend for myself.

Don't wanna hear your sad songs,
I don't wanna feel your pain.
When you swear it's all my fault,
'Cuz you know we're not the same,
We're not the same, oh we're not the same.
Yeah, we used to stick together,
We wrote our names in blood.
I guess you can't accept that the change is good,
It's good, It's good.

Well, you treat me just like another stranger.
It's nice to meet you, sir.
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out.
You treat me just like another stranger.
It's nice to meet you sir.
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out.

Ignorance is your new best friend.
Ignorance is your new best friend.
Ignorance is your new best friend.
Ignorance is your new best friend.

Well, you treat me just like another stranger.
It's nice to meet you, sir.
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out.
You treat me just like another stranger.
It's nice to meet you sir.
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out.

I'm getting really nervous about moving to Texas.

Really, really, really nervous.

It will be good. I'm living a great adventure. Oh my gosh, Houston!!! Semi-big city living. I miss Stephanie. I even miss Pepper, which is strange since I've only met him once, but when I call he always says "Hello roommie!" Daw...

I've made some friends here in Florida. Eric outside my store, Jess that I work with, and Julie's family. My notice is in, and it looks like I'll have enough money to get by for a while. I'm excited about seeing Aunt Jean Marie, little Justice and cousin Neva. And Neva's fiance, whose excited to meet me.

I only wish I wasn't so nervous. Florida was nothing- a piece of cake- compared to this. A little more than two weeks away...

Hallo again my reader(s),
Reciently I have visited the court that is holding my trial, and they dont even have me on the books yet. If I am to leave on the 7th, this is gonan be one hell of a close call.

I have noticed that my recient obsession with video games (and I say "obsession" because I have spent more hours playing video games than I have anything else for the past few weeks. Literally... even sleeping.) has gotten out of hand, and I need to take a break from them. I feel ... well, unproductive after spending so many hours on this computer. I go to bed neight after night wish i had gotten off and walked out my front door. My dog Ally wishes the same. She has gotten more clingy, and more needy. I really need to talk her on a walk. It makes me sad when I can see the look of desperation and fading hope in her eyes.
Therefore, tomorrow I shall not touch this computer. I shall instead walk out of my front door, take my dog on a walk, and then call people to find something, ANYTHING to do.

My friend Cara pointed out i will be going through some withdrawals when I go to England because I will not have my video games. I figure now is a good time to go through them where i have my friends and family close to help me out.

I can not thank my friends and family enough for being with me through hard times. I feel however as if I can not hold a friendship for a long period of time. My friend Tyler Courdy is going through a similar battle, and I wish I could spend more time with him, I just cant think of anything to do. This is not out of the ordinary, most of my time with friends is trying to think of something to do. Tomorrow I will call him, and see if I could spent some time with him. Maybe we could walk our dogs together.

This is all, good night everyone.

Here you go, Judy. Sorry for any typos. I just cranked this out in the notebook and threw it on here rather slap-dash. I really didn't want to poke around my dictionary for double versus single "l" grammar edits. I may hate this tomorrow, but I'm liking it right now.

Sarah looks at herself in the bathroom mirror. The faucet runs, funneling through the pipes with an eerie hollow sound. She feels like a vacuum- a hungry void, desperate to be filled. Longing to be whole.

Late February, California. It's raining outside and the air is chilled. Her reflection is a ghost. She ignored the last electricity bill, and has lived without light for the past week. The food in her refrigerator is either spoiled or melted, or both. She won't open it to find out. The phone and cable is gone as well. All Sarah has left is the water, which she knows only has minutes left.

Her tan is so dark in the gray light seeping through the windows that she almost looks dirty. She's bronze. Her frosted blonde hair falls around her face like icy tassels. She hasn't brushed it yet. And she stares into her eyes, clouded blue orbs, drowning in unshed tears.

There's a letter in her hand. It tells her where she needs to go and how to get there. On the page, words of comfort pour like a guilty confession from a stranger. Broken promises spilling from a fractured dam, flooding her thoughts. She has to get out of here. She has to say goodbye, but how can she leave her life? How can she abandon herself?

By the end of the month Lucy will be contacted by management (concerned with the rent and the absence of it's once legitimate tennant), but Sarah will be long gone.

She turns her gaze to the letter. There are two names in it she has never seen before. One Malakai Jones mentioned in passing, and signed by one Joseph V, sincerely. What is the V? He says he once knew her father, but how? He acknowledges her tragedy, and Sarah wants to crush his skull in for sending condolences. She wants to tear this letter to shreds and send it down the pipes... but she needs it.

Father? Dead.

Mother? Lost.

Sister? Gone.

It is time for her to make a move. An ugly sound churns from the sink. The final ribbons of water slip from the faucet, circling the bowl before disappearing. And just like that, Sarah is gone.

I wish that song wasn't cut from the film. It's probably my favorite track. I've watched Repo! twice now that I own it and love Shilo and Graverobber singing together. Their relationship reminds me of Nick and Bridges, only wickedly warped. Graverobber's voice... wow. Sexy sexy. New CD in the player at work! We're listening to "Glee" now. Music from the television show. :p I give myself until Saturday to hate it.

Ugh, I can't sleep at all. I guess multiple naps combined with thinking too much will do that to me.

I hate that this whole Dean thing is getting to me. I guess it's just because I really REALLY don't understand it. Here's this really great guy, he treats me right, he's sweet to me, and we've been practically going out. A few weeks ago, he basically asked me out. He said, "You're gonna meet my roommate's mom tomorrow. She's probably going to ask you if we're together, and I want you to know you can say whatever you want." And I told him I had to think about it, and I wasn't done thinking about it the next day, so I told the woman we weren't together. I can see that could be hurtful to him, because it's like I rejected him. But I haven't had the chance to tell him WHY I said we weren't together, because he's not responding to anything I send him.

I wasn't ready to commit yet. It's not because I don't like him, I just wasn't ready. And I want to tell him that SOOOO bad, but it's like he's ignoring me! And I don't even know WHY he's ignoring me. We were totally fine for a while after that day, and last week, it's like I didn't even exist anymore! My friend texted him and he answered, saying that he wasn't talking to me or anyone for that matter because of something that happened at his house. But sure enough, he's online, posting bulletins begging for people to message him or text him because he's bored and he has no one to talk to. WHAT THE FUCK?! So I'm the only one he can't talk to? No, there has to be a reason he's ignoring me. And I'm taking a wild guess with that whole "We're not dating," thing.

I have absolutely no luck with finding a guy that's right for me. The guys I fall for end up being total jerks in the end. When am I gonna fall for the right guy? :'[

I want to destroy Owl City. That band seriously needs to go away. Every time their CD comes on in the store, I find myself humming other artists' work just to ignore the sound coming out of the speakers. I'm going to kill someone the next time I hear that firefly song, I cross my heart.

Metric, on the other hand, I love. Jess and I agree. Everytime we hear a song we don't like in the store, we press the button for disc 3... Metric. It drives our managers up the walls, but we need to get more variety happening. A lot of Susan Boyle, Shakira, Alicia Keys, Adam Lambert, New Moon soundtrack (still), Owl City, Kings of Leon, Rihanna, X-mas music, and a mix disc (but give yourself a six hour dose of all this music on a daily basis, and you'll understand). I know every song on the Rihanna "Rated R" album and I didn't even really know who she was with the exception of S.O.S. and Unfaithful.

The Hangover and Inglorious Basterds are selling like crazy.

I miss Mad Hatter!

So far a lot of stress has been pileing down on me, and im slowly dealing with it. I mean most of the stress is from stuff I cant controll, or i have to wait untill i can deal with it. For example: I have a ticket for joint possession of alcohol from Black Friday that they just mailed me in Saterday. Now normally I would just go to the court, pleade inosence and not worry about it. The problem with this exact situation is that the date for my court appearence is on January 9th. I have a plane ticket for the 6th to go to England, and the semester begins on the 8th. So therefore I have many of choices. I have to call them tomorrow to see if I can get the date push earlier so I can make the flight. OR I have to e-mail england to let them know im not comming on the sceduled date, and then re-book my flight to after the court date.
Also I have been jobless up to this point, and I am currently down to my last $40. I spent almost $200 on christmas pesents since i didnt have any to give last year. Now almost every penny has been spent on gas and maitnence for my car. Somehow God is taking care of me and I still have gas when i need it, and I still have money for maitnence when something breaks.

I cant remember if I told you, but I am leaving for England for a minimum of 6 months for a pre-rec of some biblical studies classes. Now this pre-rec is a 3 month lecture and a 3 month mission trip. Im not sure what they are going ot teach me, or what they want me to do in the "field" but only time will tell. I am however very scared that I will run out of money, and my parents will have no way to saftey net me so that i can eat. Honestly i would rather wear stinky clothes (I have to pay for laundry) and use leaves for tp (which i also have to pay for) just so that I can eat. I am scared I am going to have to do this John The Baptist style, and then I will die of starvation. Considering God has kept me alive this long, I doubt that is going to happen.

Oh back to the point, the 3 month "field" it going to be particulary weird since I dont feel comfortable, nor do I approve of people standing on corners and hading out "accept Jesus" cards. If they ask me to do it, I will honestly hand em the cards back and tell them I am going to give out free hugs instead. My idea (well I cant really call it mine, since I believe it was planted by God) is that when people ask me why I am handing out free hugs, i will explain that I didnt want to do the card thing, so I figured id give out free hugs and let you know that if you have any theology questions, I am here for ya.

I should be an English major considering how much writing I am doing. Spelling, and gramatical things aside (those can be learned) I think I am doing quite well.


what else... oh ya my worries and stress. Another thing that keeps me up at night reciently (and ive been staying up till 4 or 5 every night for the past could weeks) is silly stuff like what I said wrong (or how I would have re-worded something. A great exmaple of this was in my Nonverbal Behavior class. The teacher walk talking about appearences and I said "My sister once told me that pretty men don't have facial hair." Really? Thats all i said? Man if i would have finished it with "Do you all agree?" or "does anyone else share this paradigm?" it would have been ok. But just leaving it there. Oh i feel so dumb), how i would fix it, and then random trips into my imagination. Early this morning I had a zombie dream where I was leading 3 people into safty while the song "Offspring - Staring At The Sun" played. I have never been more pumped when I woke up. I could just run out and kill soemthing with my bare hands i felt so bad ass. but since i have been a shut in for the past couple weeks, I just played video games, and did almost nothing. I feel so upreductive, and borderline depressed since I get little to no sunlight.
Too bad I cant go spend all of tomorrow outside since i have to work on the wood floors and then upload photos on to my computer for money.
I just gotta endure this, and then I can function again.

I wish i could find the words to express how i feel. This deep sorrow, loneliness, craving to want to be alone in my room, and somehow a restlesness to get outside. Its like my mind is depressed, but my body is trying to get me outside so I feel better. I think when I find a break tomorrow I wont jump on my computer, ill sit outside.

There was more on my mind... oh now i remember it.
my lonliness. I want to have a girl friend that I can spend loads of time with, but like my friendships I cant find a girl that fits me well enough for me to seriously date. There are a few girls that come close, but there are always little details that would prevent a long term relationship. (one major one being I am leaving to England for 6 months)
Becca - very fun to be around, kinda ditsy but I could live with it. She is rather whiney (or so i hear) but she honestly sounds like a lot of fun, and very adventurous. She is also a druggie wich is a major turn off and a big problem in a long term relationship with me. Who else...
Britant Rachels - still loves Hayden after she and I fucked, snuggle her to sleep some nights, and then spend tons of time with her. She once told me I was the exact kind of man she was looking for, but somehow she still loves Hayden. Shes a dog person which is a major plus, but she plans on being a vet, and her love for animals is starting to get creepy and a little annoying. She refused to spend time with me because she thinks her dog is lonely and needs time with her. Sure her dog is about as brave is a baby chicken, and is more clingy than pond skum, but still. She complains about not getting as much sex as she wants, but every time i offer sex to her its either we cant cuz shes nervous about her dad next door waking up, OR she needs to spend time with her dog that night. ummmmmmm
Kat Nutick - Im still crushin on her, but she is still trying to get over me, and sometimes shit happens.
Kat Wright - Mormon kid (downfall) fun to be with, i can see a relationship, but I havent spent enough time with her to actually get a feel for who she really is. I havent seen her in a couple years, and the time i did spend with her was in passing at OCHSA. I hung out with her for 4 hours or so a couple days ago and he is a lot cooler than i expected. I would spend more time with her if she wasnt in another state right now, and I am going to England.
I think thats the list right now. Im forgetting another Kat, but truth be told shes not into me, or shes just denying it because she knows Britany R still likes me.



oh and before I leave: PENIS!

Today is one of those days where I have nothing to do, but I wish I had something to do. And yet, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to be anywhere. I don't really want to go out, I don't want to stay at my apartment, I don't want to go to my parents' apartment or my sister's empty house, and I don't want to pick up a shift at work. Sigh, how confusing.

So, I got to talking with my sister tonight. She saw the pictures from James's wedding...
Let's just say "it was followed by much criticism." This is for her specifically, but anyone who wants to read some angry language, feel free to give it a glance. I have no shame- it's all pretty much bull shit. :)

PS sis. I checked out www.thepeopleofwalmart.com and you are soooo right!
( James's immaculate bitching :) )My response is here: http://9secret-lives.livejournal.com/124635.html

So, there was a guy in need of help today at my work. He was looking for The Virgin Suicides (which I love Kathleen Turner in) and we got to talking. He kept looking at me as though he was trying to place my face, and in the middle of my talking he exclaimed "You know who you look like?"

I went blank. "-Uh..."

"That girl from 2&1/2 Men."

"Oh," I blinked. "Melanie Lynskey?"

"Yes! You look just like her!"

Judy, do I look like her?


Personally, I'm flattered. I've been a fan of Mel's since Ever After, but I love love love her in Heavenly Creatures and Rose Red. I think her features are a bit softer than mine (still think I'm a bit closer to the Evil Queen in Snow White), but I'll take the compliment.

In other news, entertainment related, there are a lot of girls obsessed with that True Blood show. I know it's based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels, but I've never seen it. (However!) I watched this video a couple days ago and it tripped me out. Whoever this Maryann chick is, she freaking rocks!

Random thoughts December '09.

If I ever had a rock band, I would call it Curbing Squirrels. I heard about this guy up north curbing squirrels after watching American History X (way to get inspiration!) and it stuck with me. Note: I do not promote squirrel curbing.

After watching Repo! I've decided I really like the name Shilo for a girl. That gives me Amina, Bridget and Shilo. Up to two, finally. Boys names are easier, I think. Still hooked on Nicolas Jude and Christopher Riley. Fuck, I have to consider girl middle names too.

Visiting Aunt Jean Marie and The Carpenters on my way out to Houston. Neva would like me to stay a couple days, and I think the word "weeks" came up but I'm thinking a day is good. At most, I'll probably stay three to four. She's excited about her fiance meeting me. Everyone is still either making babies or getting married. Neva and her boyfriend, and then Stephanie and Pepper are the 2010 weddings I'll have to mark on my calender.

Never listened to VNV Nation growing up, but now whenever I listen to "Holding On" I get all teary eyed and ridiculous.

Hunter ran away last night, but John and Julie found him in the morning. He had a pierced foot and his claws were all messed up, so we know he was in a fight. He had to wear one of those adorable little head cones and one of his back paws are casted. He looks so cute!!!

I drew the conclusion that Dan would be Hercules if he had a D*sney parallel. Think about it. Nice, home grown boy, loves his parents and treats everyone kindly, optimistic and thinks the best of people, and heart trampled on by the damsels.

I'm still Jane, from D*sney's Tarzan. Constant rambler with nervous habits, absurd euphemisms, shy and slightly prudish. I think Michelle is Tinker Bell. Even the not-so-nice things she carries out are all for the love of others.

Julie showed me some of her creative writing and that opened up a whole can of worms about characters and descriptions and "how much is too much" etc. We ate pizza. It's been a good night.